In wake of the Red Bulls’ latest debacle, I thought it would be appropriate to talk about excuses. So, here is a series of excuses that the club, or any soccer team, for that matter, can use after a loss.
By Michael Lewis
FrontRowSoccer.com Editor
The coach walks up to the podium in the interview room and says, “We might have lost the game, but I have an excuse.”
Or perhaps excuses.
And, so it goes.
After covering the beautiful game for more than four decades, I think I have heard just about every excuse, cliché and more recurring lines than I can remember. In fact, some of the more modern remarks already have become Major League Soccer lore.
Those comments, incidentally, are not limited only to coaches. General managers and other team officials have been known to utter some of those words of wisdom as well.
Saying that, presenting some the most memorable recurring lines and a few famous last words uttered in American soccer history:
“This is not a rebuilding year. We’re going for the league championship!”
“The referee cost us the game.”
“The grass was too high.”
“The grass was too low.”
“Give us 10 games before you judge the team.”
“That was a horrendous call.”
“The sun got in my eyes.”
“How come the league always helps the (fill in the blank)?”
“The best soccer in the world is played in Italy.”
“I have to check with the league.”
“Our foreigners need a couple of games to get acclimated.”
“The officiating was just awful.”
“The lights got in my eyes.”
“As I said before, this is not a rebuilding year. We just need a few adjustments.”
“Don’t worry. The Trans-Atlantic flight won’t affect me. I’ll be fine.”
“We’re going to need just a few more games before can really show what we’re about.”
“Obviously, you don’t know anything about soccer.”
“I’ll have to see a replay before I can comment on that play.”
“The English Premiership is the best league in the world by far.”
“That referee shouldn’t be working in this league.”
“We played a beautiful game tonight. Too bad it was marred by one mistake on our part.”
“In another multi-team trade …”
“Our foreigners need just a few more matches to get into the swing of things.”
“I would like to introduce the new (fill in the blank) coach . . .”
“We got a really tough draw with the Netherlands Antilles, Solomon Islands and Faroe Islands in our group.”
“You saw what happened out there with the referee. Write it!”
“The Spanish League is better than the Italian League.”
“Boy, that seven-hour trip across the Atlantic was really tiring. It really took a lot out of me in the game.”
“You know what’s ruining today’s game? The referees.”
“I don’t know if we’re over the salary cap. I’ll have to check with the league.”
“I’m not worried we didn’t score because we created so many chances.”
“It is not coach ____________’s fault we’re losing. He’s safe as coach.”
“I regret to announce that ____________ has been fired as coach.”
“Why does it seem the league always goes out of its way to help (fill in the blank)?”
“That was the worst refereeing I’ve ever seen and I’ve been coaching for 20 years.”
“Unfortunately, we were forced to make the trade because we were over the salary cap.”
“We have the best young Americans in the league.”
“Blame it on Sunil.”
“Things just didn’t go our way this season. I guess we’re going to have to rebuild for next year.”
“I can’t say anything about the officiating. I’ve been fined too much already this season.”
If you have a favorite line from a coach, GM or a team official, we’d love to hear from you. Just e-mail your comments to Socwriter@optonline.net
